husband doesn t want to go on family vacation

The best way to stay up-to-date would be to regularly check the Official Disney Parks Blog . Theres concern, and then theres overreacting. Everyone thinks youre wrong.. As to the question of WHY businesses have meetings in Las Vegas, its because the hospitality industry there gets it. Another is that hes questioning the companys motives. Then everyone is sober. I agree that the OP should not even consider not going on the trip. It totally IS. And if you dont trust your spouse, why would you want to remain married to them? Op, your husband is out of line and sounds very insecure. A pregnant woman recently asked the internet for advice after her husband refused to attend any of their doctor appointments. I think you know that all of his fears could happen to you (or be things youd do) wherever you live or any place you travel to. We live in an at-will dating society, where either party can end the relationship at any time, with or without cause and with or without notice. I hope you can get some work done despite your husbands interference while you are gone. Sure, but then the question would be my boss wants me to go on a business trip but I have a new baby/my spouses parent is seriously ill/my house just flooded and I need to deal with insurance/whatever, how should I ask my boss if I can get out of it. I would have not reacted well to this if I were the best friend. Bigger point being ITS NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS and not their place to weigh in. But other things may be reasonable eg nightly call ins and letting husband know that she is not going to call or answer his calls during the day. You have obviously not spent much time in New York City. He can be kind of inflexible about certain things so the fact that this is 180 degrees from where it was should give you hope. I got sent there about a year and a half ago and I was thrilled (and my husband was happy for me). At that point, the OP has some really solid information far more useful and on point than anything that the internet commentariate can provide her. You cant expect someone with a broken leg to ski down a mountain; you cant expect someone in an irrational state of fear to behave in a reasonable manner *in the moment*. Its in Las Vegass best interests to keep visitors safe. Its important to you, and take not unreasonable that your employer would want you to go, nor is it an unreasonable place to go. I currently live in a part of London that Ive heard described as a no-go area for those reasons. Thanks for the partially chewed chili on my keyboard. or is it not? I dont think youre going to be able to use logic or rational arguments to rid him of any fears. That was my thinking toohow much did he lead them into getting the exact answer he wanted? People watching! Dont even consider that risking your job is a reasonable option here your job isnt the problem. Its not just a place to go party. If you refuse to go, it is very likely to cause repercussions at work. Yup, wholeheartedly agree. She takes trips with friends, or solo, a few times a year. Go on the trip. Its the inappropriate (in typical American business culture) reaction of the husband thats the issue here, not whether its legitimate to try and get out of business trips sometimes. Whats real is my wife is going for a walk in a safe area, shes smart and wouldnt put herself in danger, and the chances of anything happening to her are incredibly low. He was already in counselling and they focused on this issue for a while. Or the students who rejected their rejection letters when I worked in college admissions. I have horrible anxiety. A great thing to consider would be inviting a few friends over on Friday night for Shabbat dinner. Answer (1 of 74): I can explain this with a story, which is below, but basically - you can't change someone else. There are opportunities everywhere for illicit behavior, even at home. You just cant. Hed go get a hotel room, and give me a call; he wouldnt be instantly homeless and alone, and I couldnt magically fix a burned house anyway. not roll my eyes and whisper not this again when she does go off on a tangent.. I think youre going to get a lot of pile on against your husband here I do hope you feel supported and not overwhelmed. A dancer charged a bunch of stuff on my credit card. (sees where incident happened) Or maybe, you bought 10 bottles of Cristal for strippers and then panicked when your accounting department asked for a receipt? But I am going to totally disagree with you that its not a relationship problem. Yeah theres a mosque and an Islamic centre, but Ive been into both for visit my mosque day and the imam was happy to talk to me (a white non-religious woman) and everyone was very nice and gave us snacks, so yeah. Las Vegas is not my favorite place ever because I dont love big crowds or gambling, but its just a city. Sometimes together (we work for the same agency), but mostly separate. Its been a while, but the last time I went to Vegas, we went to a Cirque du Soleil show, did a lot of shoe shopping, and took a drive out to the hoover dam (and took a cool tour). I did a similar trip after I had my second but I did it different than everyone else. Thank you for sharing your story withus this iswhat weve come upwith: How would you react ifyou were inMayas shoes? husband doesn t want to go on family vacation. Please select a reason for escalating this post to the WTE moderators: Connect with our community members by starting a discussion. Sometimes its easier to understand from the outside by hearing other stories about how irrational thoughts can impact our lives. Or its an indication that they live in a different culture than the one you know. Marriage counseling implies that she has some part to play in this; individual therapy for him would help him manage his expectations of realistic safe behavior in a marriage and at work. Couples counseling may be useful but controlling spouses are sometimes effective manipulators and in those situations couples counseling is a terrible idea. I had to speak on a panel one afternoon and give a presentation the next morning, but the conference I spoke at was not for my industry so I had no connections or contacts there. He could use some time and a space where he could work through these anxieties with a therapist who could help him think of ways to handle them better. (FWIW Im married and work FT and during tax season Ive come home at 10-12 PM. That I was RIGHT! I would bet money he didnt tell everyone else the same story he told me. A week? There are people whose mind translates any answer all, from Hmm okayhow bout that Topic Changers vs. Distractors game? to NONONONONO! There are also lots of cool little museums as well. At night, the most fun people have is maybe a different ink at a nearby bar otherwise theyre too tired and ttying to get their shit together for the next day ir for tomorrows flight. Nope. Dont get hit by a car!! Even if it is a general anxiety issue, speaking as someone with plenty of personal experience with that, theres still a relationship issue here. PS: My third period class, mostly high-functioning autism cases, is split. +1 I think this is good advice! I just point out that theres more crime in her trailer park, and she gets huffy about it. But honestly? Or hes over-reporting the level of agreement he got? Even emphasizing the point, like even they said theyd let their spouses go to Las Vegas. Personally, I think its far more likely that hes just using others or my friends agree as a generic point in his favor without actually having asked them. The letter writer is inquiring about whether or not she should DTMFA someone who drumroll has clearly already broken up with her. Remember, what happens in Vegas stays on YouTube forever. < accurate. But if all your life experiences back it up, its not until youre faced with a new point of view (i.e., your wife goes on a business trip) that any of these beliefs even come to the surface. You can also rent a ballroom or a conference hall for insanely cheap. But they are the obvious two and also both hot-button topics on this forum. If a person has surrounded themselves with a bunch of people that thinks its normal for one spouse to tell the other what they are/arent allowed to do, thats a beyond red flag. You dont ever want to put yourself in a position of relaying solely on his for financial support because you then lose the ability to leave if you need to. I think that marriage counseling is the right way to go. It is obvious that anyone who says that has never been here, because there arent even that many people who are obviously Muslims living here. LOL! Haha! Just to give you an idea, my husband, my 10 week old, and I went to New Jersey this past weekend to see some of my husband's family. This isnt normal, as you say, and a good husband will support you as you travel. Updated: June 23, 2020. source: awkward . In no way am I saying if he does have anxiety its totally okay for him to be a controlling ass not at all. Last time you went on a business trip, you spent the entire time dealing with his feelings about it instead of focusing of what you were actually there to do. If you bring consoling up, will he go? Ah, but you have a job, and Im guessing are presumably a more equal breadwinner in your household. with his friends, not you. Never mind that this area was completely safe and middle-class; never mind that the apartment complex had 24-hour security; gated parking; never mind that this Mexican restaurant is not a whole in the wall, is regularly featured on Food Network, and is a regular spot for bringing out-of-town clients for virtually every company in our city. You have to have the autonomy in your relationship to perform the required duties of your job; its not like youre going to shaking it on top of a table at the Cosmopolitan. Where I was originally from in Ohio, there are schools that dont have proms because dancing is considered a vice, and thus shouldnt be promoted by a school. :P. The drunk human traffickers are trafficking the dealers! You can drink and dance and play roulette in 43 of the 50 states. Marriage counselling is categorically not recommended if there is abuse. No, but I feel like almost every thread, somebody chimes in with an armchair anxiety diagnosis. I dont think people are misreading; I think that the phrasing is confusing but that context indicates its meaning. I dont want men to dismiss womens fears, but I have personally had more experience with the opposite men deciding to tell me why I cant/shouldnt do something adventurous. I havent missed a day other than scheduled vacation. And actually, trips apart are GOOD for our relationship, we miss each other like crazy after the first two days and it strengthens our bonds (and snuggles) when were reunited. I also suggested going to counseling for professional diagnosis and treatment. We saw a fun show with impersonators of Sinatra, Dean Martin, Cher, etc and fun dancers. Couples counseling is also useful for people with issues that make them disposed to try to please and/or look from approval from their therapist. The veg option at the two meals at the convention center consisted entirely of iceberg lettuce salad). Ill willingly concede that deglove describes something altogether horrible, but deplane is an idiotic, unnecessary, invented word. seriously. My husband has been for business conferences. sienna plantation inventory homes; masters in international law and diplomacy; is daffodil water poisonous; OMG, but the burgers there are sooo good! I wonder if there are other circumstances in which he exhibits similar behavior. Not all of the counties decided to legalize it, and as a result there is no legal prostitution in Las Vegas or Reno. Later I saw an art exhibit. And dirt cheap which I am guessing is why so many business conferences are set at that location. When I moved to a big city to go to grad school, I got ALL KINDS of concern, especially when I started working swing shift and got home at midnight! I have to remind myself of that sometimes; I think you should remind yourself that too. The biggest crime Ive personally witnessed is the outrageous price of food. My mom cancelled their first date and was always busy when he tried to reschedule until she finally gave in. You have to go because if you refuse, that will absolutely jeopardize your standing in the company. Its also fascinating, because it makes me wonder about his friends. A year? A therapist will be of substantial benefit to OP in uncovering these typically subconcious assumptions and patterns, and mindfully challenging them and acquiring a different and more equitable relationship with her husband. Funnily enough, I never cheated, never had my drink spiked or got kidnapped during these excisions to sin city. Its you both versus these scenarios hes building, not you versus him and his mindset. I still tease her about it. The timelines even fit perfectly. I cant quite tell from this letter if he does yet or notnor if its a true anxiety issue or straight-up manipulative, controlling behavior. Good luck, Emma. I understand your point, but I think that it is in the LWs best interest to suggest counseling first since she says her husband is otherwise reasonable and kind. I think Id feel safer there than in my own city, where things can get desolate sometimes. And his anxiety is HIS to manage, not hers. Ive gone to Vegas for work and my husband just told me to have a good time and made jokes about what kind of stuff I might get up to while I was there because we knew Id mostly be bored and cranky with the work situation. Did I stand out? Sometimes, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas because it was incredibly boring, like three days of being in windowless conference rooms. Even if it was a relatively nice day, the fact that there was snow on the road would just give him fits. Its notable that he took a of survey of other people to bolster his position. Captain Awkward is amazing when answering questions about control, manipulation, and gaslighting. But I believe that talking it out in clear terms is step one, at least. I hope this topic can also help someone else facing simalry issues. Is it indulging in a pleasurable vice? :-). I see wholesome as suitable for minors and conservative folks, so yeah, sex work isnt that. But yeah, were both supportive of the other taking trips. Its not bad practice to not accept food or drink from strangers, or let your drink out of your sight at a bar, but Id worry about those things much less in Las Vegas than in a local bar. She should go and she should make therapy a minimal condition of continuing the marriage. Divorce is a valid option, if you choose to go down that road. I love my wife and we bought land and a home. Ahh, I was wondering where he found all these friends. Right? As someone with an anxiety disorder myself, I can understand the uncontrolled thoughts the husband is having. me go. I like having the house to myself for a weekend. (Ive been to LV exactly once, for work. He easily sleeps 4 hours. And its going to be a problem in your relationship whether you go on the trip or not. He is obviously in distress, and rational or not, that is a bigger problem than just whether OP should go on her business trip. I dont gamble and am not much of a drinker/partier and I thought Vegas was great! Honestly the greatest threat to LWs safety is probably lung cancer from second-hand smoke in the casinos. But, OP, please take a hard look at your husband and his normal conduct. LW, my husband would be honestly fine with me going to Vegas. I did a big expo in Ocean City during the Spring everything was still closed, I spent a good chunk of it setting stuff up, taking stuff down, and generally stuck in a hotel and the only fun I had was going to a few restaurants and walking on the beach for half an hour. I actually took my husband with me once and he went off on his own while I worked all day. After the day ended and we would go out to dinner, he would tell her that he was sure our company wouldnt approve of us going out to dinner on their dime. (Wed been given stipends and told to enjoy a cocktail after the eight-hour training). OP, I saw one of your responses saying your husband is otherwise kind. A room like that in any other city would cost 3 or 4 times that. Youre going to DIE!. Milkshakes there are ON POINT.

Ward Barracks, Bulford Phone Number, Leeann Kreischer Parents, Where Was Frieda Lopez Born, Articles H