george carlin quotes government

Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Soon enough youll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, You show me a lazy prick whos lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and Ill show you a guy whos not causing any trouble. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, I have lots of ideas. October 29, 2004. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.George Carlin, Theres no present. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. var cookies = document.cookie.split('; '); 5. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. var source = getCookieWithoutJQuery("source"); My first rule, I dont believe anything the government tells me And I dont take very seriously the media or the press in this country. George Carlin, 82. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. Hes just sayin that stuff. Good. 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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, 21. The table is tilted, folks. That's the problem. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, 13. Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time,George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other taboo subjects. Teach them to question everything. return false; Disgusting that people still make that argument that we can never cut defense but we can cut education. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14stand-up comedy specials on HBO taught us the power of words and how a person can use humor as a weapon. These George Carlin funny quotes on religion, government, and stupid people will make you laugh as well as think about things deeply. George Carlin 'Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners.' Quotes are added by the Goodreads community and are not verified by Goodreads. BAM! George Carlin Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. In America, anyone can become president. It's a Big Club, and You Ain't in it - American Thinker Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. Quote by George Carlin: "Political correctness is fascism pretending to Property is theft. I have certain rules I live by. Famous and remained in the controversies for his dark comedy and the reflections on politics, religions, and social taboo, Carlin is considered one of the most influential comedians of all time. "https:" : "http:") + It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. Welcome | QuoteSaga " Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. I sincerely believe that if you think theres a solution, youre part of the problem. gads.async = true; But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full. When youre born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin, 48. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, 19. Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth. Here we are sharing a collection of George Carlin quotes on religion, government, and life for you to think deeply about the things you have never done before. url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_hd_images-2b89833762f600506d44865a33582d11.css"; "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." ~ (George Carlin). I hate groups of people. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Laugh often, long and loud. We think in language. Continue with Recommended Cookies. googletag.pubads().collapseEmptyDivs(true); When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. George Carlin. Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. "ebfg_email", "ebfg_sms"]; "Laugh often, long and loud. War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle-class and lower-class men off to die. George Carlin, 78. They own everything. George Carlin. Feel free to reach out and connect. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born on May 12, 1937, was an Americanstand-up comedian, actor, social critic, and author. Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation.You have no choice. Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. - George Carlin profile quotes. You don't. You have no choice. It will not be with jack-boots. stylesheet.rel = "stylesheet"; The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election. George Carlin, 66. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. googletag.pubads().disableInitialLoad(); When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. 4. What are your favorite George Carlin quotes? The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. var sourcesToHideBuyFeatures = ["ebfg_gr", "ebfg_fb", "ebfg_fbm", "ebfg_tw", A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does. Carlin and his "Seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. George Carlin, The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. " George Carlin No money to be made off of the homeless. 4. He was also known for his outspoken views on government and politics. Save the planet! There is a mistake in the text of this quote. function isShowingBuyableFeatures() { Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, George Carlin (2002). A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. George Carlin, 62. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) } People are wonderful one at a time. And, let me tell you, theres nothin like it. Your dog thinks you're a god. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. You know how I define the economic and social classes in this country? This made him outstanding. They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. George Carlin was one of the most iconic comedians of all time and he had a lot to say about government. It is one that we need to function as a society. Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it because youve lost your identity because you now owe your allegiance to this thing thats bigger than you are and that controls you. George Carlin, 71. Christmas Quotes For Mothers To Make Her Day, These 10 Quotes About Best Friend Love Are Perfect For Showing Your True Colors, 118+ Inspiring Christmas Quotes For Instagram That Will Bring A Warm Glow To Your Holiday Season, Mourning Your Dogs Death With Quotes From Rainbow Bridge, 15+ Rumi Quotes On Happiness That Will Boost Your Mood, These Rumi Quotes About Depression Will Bring You Comfort. return true; George Carlin was one of the most well-known and beloved comedians of all time. Cause pretty soon they have little hats. But once youre born, youre on your own. People cant seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, 4. We can afford to cut defense; we cant afford to cut education. 4994. Your email address will not be published. var cookiePair = cookie.split('='); fetchBids: function() { Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, 39. I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. George Carlin was an outspoken comic, known for his brash sense of humor, foul language and controversial views on politics, religion and other sensitive subjects. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? } This is the best we can do folks. document.getElementsByTagName("head")[0].appendChild(stylesheet); I think the life cycle is all backwards. Toothpicks?George Carlin, No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. He was born May 12, 1937, in New York City into an Irish Catholic family, but he rejected the faith. If black boxes survive air crashes why dont they make the whole plane out of that stuff? George Carlin, 55. Ever. Its disgusting, man. If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air. George Carlin, 54. Its never going to get any better. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. Question it, and try to see the world for what it actually is, as opposed to what someone or some company or some organization or some government is trying to represent it as, or present it as, however they've mislabeled it or dressed it up or told you. You have owners. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. 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George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. Everybodys going to save something now. "I have a right, you have no right, we have a right." Folks I hate to spoil your fun, but. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads You dont. Did you enjoy this article? Im talking about the real owners now the real owners. googletag.pubads().enableSingleRequest(); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin, 32. Dont just teach your children to read Teach your children to question what they read, teach them to question everything. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. #government. var ue_furl = "fls-na.amazon.com"; You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get firedand get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. George Carlin, If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, Theres no present. Its because volunteers work for no pay. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. - George Carlin quotes. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. . Quotes by George Carlin One of the most iconic comedians of all time. The planet is fine. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, 15. Its only a piece of cloth. George Carlin, 75.The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful of insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, 42. And armbands. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. Its no secret that George Carlin was a bit of a political philosopher. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. George Carlin, 74. About Us | Privacy Policy | Terms | Contact Us, Ronald Reagan Religious Quotes To Live Your Life As A True Believer, www.brainyquote.com/authors/george-carlin-quotes, www.quotes.thefamouspeople.com/george-carlin-1484.php, www.everydaypower.com/george-carlin-quotes. It seems only right. I enjoy describing how things are, I have no interest in how they ought to be. And I certainly have no interest in fixing them. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. He Was Fatally Beaten by Memphis Police Now People Around the World Are Sharing #SunsetsForTyre in His Honor, 41 Daughter Quotes That Will Touch and Melt Your Heart, 20 Most Inspiring Martin Luther King Jr. var gptAdSlots = gptAdSlots || []; George Carlin. Carlin is well-known for pivoting from a strait-laced, suit-and-tie approach to standup in the late 1960s and early . function getCookieWithoutJQuery(name) { My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. Its never just a game when youre winning. George Carlin, 7. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. George Carlin, 79. Period. Topics. Top George Carlin Quotes on Government, Marriage, Love, Life, Religion If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. The challenge is to find it. They own everything. A Death! One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. Below youll find the best collection of George Carlin quotes. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. Vicious Quotes Page 5. . if(cookiePair[0] === name) { Some people see things that are, and ask, why? They should be more vivid. A comedian can say things that you may not want to hear but need to. Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize Im listening to it. Well, its Gods will. Thy Will Be Done. Fine, but if its Gods will, and Hes going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Quotes. By the way, it's the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. 3. //]]> Napalm & Silly Putty, Hyperion. You have owners. Weve added years to life, not life to years. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldnt afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. Religion class was always an easy class. } An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. And armbands. Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. George Carlin, 29. g.parentNode.insertBefore(A, g) He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. if (window.csa) { If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, 11. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.George Carlin, When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?George Carlin, The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. I think people should be allowed to do what they want. - George Carlin profile quotes. George Carlin died on June 22, 2008, from cardiac failure at the age of 71. Thats exactly what I want you to think. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, 18. George Carlin's full name was George Denis Patrick Carlin. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. They own, and control the corporations. It takes up a lot of your time. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. }); Aw, hes a comedian. On The Simple Solution To Parenthood's Most Difficult Question "Parents are burning these kids out on structure. 70 Wise Quotes From George Carlin | Inspirationfeed 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it." ~ (George Carlin). Everyone smiles in the same language. George Carlin, 35. window.csa("Config", { Its so fuckin heroic.George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.George Carlin, If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?George Carlin, I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. George Carlin Shitting on Government for 8 Minutes Straight var stylesheet = document.createElement("link"); Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. Keep em showing up at those jobs. George Carlin, 81. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, 10. Do share your thoughts with us in the comment section and tell us which one was your favoriteGeorge Carlin quotesor if you want to ask any questions or have any query send them viaContact Us. Lists. 4. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a f**k about them. We hope these George Carlin quotes on life, religion and government will make you smile as well as share some important facts with you.

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